Keeping your Name after Marriage, the Modern Option

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While women who change their name to that of their male spouse are still in the majority, increasingly, women in Australia are keeping their own name after marriage. For some it is a personal choice, for others, having spent many years building a professional reputation in their birth name, the decision can be influenced by not wanting to obliterate that reputation. And for many women in our multicultural society, whether to keep or change their name not a simple personal decision purely because of the cultural considerations or because, in their country of origin, it is illegal to do so.

 Although it has never been mandatory to change your name in Australia, the weight of custom is still such that, despite public debate over whether the tradition is sexist, women who don't wish to change their names are quite likely to find that their decision is questioned.

What is change of name by marriage

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When a person (traditionally in Australia it has been the wife) assumes the family name of their spouse, that name replaces the person's previous surname, which in the case of the wife is called the maiden name but is increasingly birth name  is used as a gender-neutral or masculine substitute for maiden name).  Where this has taken place, the term married name is used to decribe the family name or surname adopted upon marriage.

In Australia whether or not to change your name by marriage is

• a personal decision left up to each of the marrying parties
• you are free to follow whatever cultural customs you wish
  
• equally applicable regards of your gender (yes, men can change their name to that of their spouse, regardless of the spouse's gender)
• happens after marriage so the names on your marriage certificate will be your current (usually birth) name.

NB: What follows does not claim to be an exhaustive list of all the possibilities, but should be sufficient to give you a reasonable picture of how complicated the whole issue of changing your name might be, should you choose to do so, together with enough information to give you the confidence to decide not to change your name!

Places where women are required to change their name on marriage

Being legally required to change your name is actually quite rare. Under Japanese law, for example, a marriage is only recognised if both parties share the same surname, therefore married couples must take one of the spouses’ family names. In practice this means that 96% of married Japanese women assume their husband’s last name. However, women can informally use their maiden name if they wish.

Places where names changes by marriage are illegal

For most Australians, the idea that you cannot change your name by marriage seems pretty strange. But it is, and has been, the historical reality in many countries European countries. We can thank the French Revolution for that. Since 1789 French law has forbidden the use of any name other than the one given on their birth certificate. In practice that means that women cannot legally change their surname after marriage, but both men and women can accept the other’s surname for social and colloquial purposes.

The Canadian province of Québec, followed suit. There it is illegal for a wife to take on her husband's name unless she goes through the whole name change process and the name change gets approved.

Belgian law does not consider marriage as a reason to change your name on its own. So if you want to change your name after marriage, you must go through a separate legal process to officially change your name

Generally speaking it is illegal to change your last name in Belgium, unless you are a previously married woman who wants to revert to your maiden name or your current surname

• causes ridicule
• is foreign and makes it difficult to integrate into Belgian society 
• is shared with a criminal or other notorious figure 
• is difficult for others to pronounce 
• is associated with a family member who was a criminal 
• is associated with a foreign law that requires a different surname for children of the same parents
  

In Greece, a  law requiring all women keep their maiden name was enacted in 1983.

Italian women have more options. Although, since 1975, they cannot legally change their surname,  they have the option of tacking their husband’s surname onto their surname.

In both Portugal and Spain, you legally can't lose your maiden surnames except for very specific circumstances (such as one of your parents attempting to murder the other).

In Spain your name will stay the same for life, regardless of whether you marry or not, and you cannot add your spouse's surname to yours.

Places where it is optional but unusual

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In South Korea women traditionally keep their maiden names. There is, however, no law that prevents them from taking their husband's name, but very few do.

Cultural considerations

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Patriachal values are still a powerful influence on whether women marrying men choose to retain their maiden name or adopt the name of their husband.

It is not just in genealogical programs where surnames denote a family's history and legacy. In many cultures this is a major  consideration when it comes to a woman choosing whether or not to change her surname to that of her new spouse.

In Malaysia and Korea, it is local custom for women to keep their maiden names, and although there is no law stating that they cannot take their husband’s surname, it is a relatively foreign concept. Custom dictates that women keep their surnames in many Spanish-speaking countries as well, including Spain and Chile.

In India, naming conventions vary based on a person's religion and where they were born. Status also comes into play. If the bride has a higher status name due to its connection with a specific caste or community, she will be expected to honour that name and not change it to that of her spouse.

It is customary for Muslim women to keep their own surname after marriage because, by so doing, she is paying homage to her family and facilitating tracing the family back to their roots, even after marriage.

When it gets very complicated

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In Eastern European countries the naming conventions are complicated, so it is never just a case of swapping one name for another.

For example, in Czechoslovakia, when getting married couples have multiple options!
In Iceland, everyone keeps their (gendered) birth names.

• Women are named (First name) (father's first name)sdóttir
• Men are named (First name) (father's first name)sson
• In some cases children will have their mother's first name instead of the father's.
  

What about the US?

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Marriage falls under State jurisdiction in the US, so what applies may differ from state to state. And to complicate matters, it is the custom, on marriage, for a woman to replace her birth middle name with her birth surname, so Mary Sophia Jones who marries John Peter Smith will change her name to Mary Jones Smith.

And, to avoid having to go to court to change your name, you need to tick the relevant boxes and provide both your current (maiden) surname and your married name when you apply for your marriage licence. In states where this is possible, returning your marriage licence to the County Clerk's office after your marriage has been solemnised legalises the name change. Your marriage certificate will be issued in your married name.

In no state is it compulsory for a woman to change her name to that of her husband.  However,  only eight states provide for an official name change for a man as part of their marriage process. In others a man will have to petition a court or—where not prohibited—change his name without a legal procedure.

Some states or areas have laws that restrict what surname a child may have.

When one of you doesn't have a surname

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In my role as a marriage celebrant I have several times come across people who don't have a surname. This is actually quite common in Indonesia and among certain groups in India.  In these cases the marriage is registered with only the given name of the party concerned.

What about the kids?

In Australia, where both parents share the same surname, the children as usually registered in that name. In opposite sex marriages where the wife has not changed her name, the children are usually registered with the father's family name. Where de facto couples have children, the children are usually registered with the mother's family name.

What most people aren't aware of is that it is not a requirement for a child to carry the same surname as one or both of their parents. So a  child can be registered with a hyphenated name, created from the names of both parents. Or they can be registered with a totally diffeent name.

East Asian tradition is for the wife to keep her maiden name, and children of the marriage are assigned the father’s name.

What to do

Quite simple. If you decide to keep your maiden (birth) name. You don't need to do anything.

Related Information

• Changing your Name
  
• Changing your Name - Legal or Marriage

Thanks for reading!