The
love lock unity ritual is inspired by the custom of
couples attaching a padlock to a public structure as
an expression of their love and a wish that it lasts
forever. While it therefore has ancient
relevance, it is a very new ritual, so it is
likely that it will be a totally new experience for
your guests. In the absence of established
expectations, you can make it completely your own.
Which means you have total control over the ritual
and the freedom to decide what it symbolises
for you, whether to use one lock or two, and what
you do with them as part of the ritual, or
afterwards.
What is a love lock?
A love lock is a padlock, usually with names and
date added to the lock, that a couple will attach to
a structure to symbolise their love. They then throw
the key away, ensuring that their love will be
unbreakable. Most of the locks that have been
attached to public structures over the years have
been ordinary padlocks available at any hardware
store. Generally names and dates are either
scratched into the surface or painted onto it by the
couple themselves. As the custom became more popular
over the past decade or so, many manufacturers have
produced padlocks specifically for this purpose.
These may be heart-shaped, or have heart shaped
features attached, painted red, or have extended
loops so they can be attached on a wider variety of
structures. Most come with a key, but
combination locks that rely on a code to open them
are also available. In response to the environmental
issues related to keys, at least one manufacturer is
producing locks that have no key or code and
therefore cannot be opened once they are snapped
shut.
The origin and spread of
the love lock custom
Like the 1954 movie that had generations of lovers
flocking to Rome to throw three coins into the Trevi
Fountain, the idea of attaching a lock to a bridge
and throwing the key into the water has its origin
in fiction.
The first appears to be in a rather depressing World
War I tale from Serbia about two lovers who are
separated when the man had to go to war, leaving his
fiance behind. He didn't come home. Not for the
usual reason. He'd fallen in love with another woman
while at the front. His heartbroken fiance died
young and alone, and local girls started to attach
locks to the bridge where the couple used to meet
and throw the keys into the river to ensure a life
of fidelity.
Fast forward to 2006 and a book by Italian author,
Frederico Moccia, an
Id its 2007 film
adaptation -
I Want You - and the
ritual of affixing locks to the Ponte Milvio over
the River Tiber in Rome took off. And the idea and
the ritual has spread rapidly, with lovers affixing
locks to bridges and other structures all around the
world.
Contemporary Problems
Even before the 2014 collapse of part of the parapet
of the Pont Des Artes bridge in Paris, blamed on the
weight of locks attached to the bridge, cities world
wide were becoming increasingly concerned by the
practice of lovelocking, considering it a form of
vandalism.
Apart from the aesthetics - cheap locks quickly
become unsightly as they deterate, the two
major problems are the accumulated weight of the
locks and the environmental damage done by throwing
the keys in the water. An accumulation of metal
padlocks literally weighs tonnes, an issue when
attached to bridges that have not been . designed to
withstand that extra load. When thrown into water,
metal keys rust and pollute the water, harm
wildlife, and block drains, leading to
flooding.
Cities have responded in two ways. Most have removed
locks and banned the practice. Some offer
alternative installations where lovers can attach
their locks, such as the LOVE art installation in
Toronto's Distillery District and the metal trees
down the middle of the Lushkov Bridge in Moscow. But
for lovers in Brisbane, no such opportunity exists
in a public place.
You could send your virtual lock to a virtual
love-locking site. Or you could include a love lock
unity ritual in your wedding - mindfully adapted to
ensure you do no damage to either the built or the
natural environment.
Why love locks are
emotionally appealing
The locks have much in common with engagement and
wedding rings. They are emotional objects which
couples use to symbolise their emotions. As symbols
of those feelings the objects themselves acquire
emotional value. Like weddings rings, the locks come
to represent the relationship, the love and
commitment between two people. Like wedding rings
they acquire emotional association with a particular
date. It is not uncommon for names, initials, and/or
the date to be engraved (or scratched) on the locks
in the same way the inside of weddings rings might
be engraved.
We know about the popularity of love locks and their
almost universal appeal because couples have
attached them to what are essential tourist
attractions in romantic locations of historical
importance or aesthetic appeal. While the couples
may attach the locks and then leave, there is appeal
and romance in knowing they have left their mark in
a desirable location, to which they can return,
possibly to celebrate an anniversary.
How love lock rituals echo
ancient practices
In line with not uncommon practice, I have read
suggestions that the love lock ritual originated in
1st century China. Given that locks were known in
Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome, this seems
unlikely, particularly as for a long time locks were
prized in China for their aesthetic appeal, not for
any practical purpose. But putting all that
aside, there are genuine parallels between
love locks and earlier practices that the modern
rituals echo
- From the Iron Age on, metal objects have been
used as offerings. Ancient Celts, Vikings, and
others deposited manufactured metal objects
(weapons, coins, in water such as rivers,
lakes, and wells). The modern practice of
attaching locks to a bridge and throwing the
keys into the water, like the widespread
practice of throwing coins into wishing wells
and fountains, continues the practice of
deposition with the expectation of receiving a
blessing or a favour. The modern ritual is
therefore a direct descendent of earlier rituals
that empowered hope.
- In mediaeval times, pilgrims would throw coins
and pilgrimage badges from bridges over rivers
en route to a holy shrine
- Also in mediaeval times, people would hang
votive offerings on trees surrounding the
shrines of saints, a practice also echoed in
wishing trees at ceremonies, a practice no
doubt inspired by prayer trees and clootie
trees.
Love Locks Unity Ritual
basics
As expressed in a marriage ceremony, the love lock
ritual usually involves two padlocks which the
couple locks together while the celebrant narrates
both the action and what it means in the view of the
couple. The keys are then disposed of in some way. A
relevant poem or other reading may also precede,
accompany, or follow the joining of the padlocks.
Environmentally friendly
ways to include love locks in your wedding
Obviously, to be environmentally friendly, you need
to refrain from attaching your lock(s) to any public
structure or throwing the key into a river, lake, or
ocean. While generally talked about as two parts of
a single ritual, approaching a love lock ritual as
two separate rituals opens up many possibilities
- Locking the lock, either to some fixture, or
to another lock
- Doing something with the key(s)/code
The lock(s)
Where you are holding your ceremony will have a
significant impact on what you can do with the
locks. .Unless the venue has an installation for the
purpose, you will be limited to linking two locks to
one another or attaching the lock to something that
is portable and can be removed at the end of the
ceremony. This is where a short length of chain with
large links will be a good choice. As would a
sculptural item of some sort.
If you are marrying in your own backyard, you are
far less limited. You could attach your lock(s) to
your fence or balcony/deck railing. You could
commission a purpose created metal sculpture, or
choose an perforated aluminium screen, for example.
The key(s)
What you do with your key(s) is limited only by your
imagination! Some ideas:
- Bury them in a meaningful place, such as the
garden of your home, or, to make sure you can't
retrieve them, have someone else bury them
without telling you where
- Melt them in a fire. You can then keep and
display the now-useless lump of metal
- Have them gold or silver-plated and turned
into jewelry - pendant, tie-pin, charm attached
to a bracelet are all options
- Frame the keys in a shadow frame together with
other artefacts from your wedding, or on their
own.
- Present the keys to your legal witnesses for
safekeeping
- Mail them in an unaddressed but adequately
stamped envelope with no return address so they
end up in the Post Office Lost Property Office
with no possibility of being retrieved.
- Emulate the method adopted by the staff of the
Namsan Seoul Tower and put them into a sealed
"love box" or you could add a fun element by
post them through the slot in a sealed money
box.
On the practical side
- Make the decisions about what the ritual
symbolises for you, how you want it to play out,
and what you want to attach the lock or locks to
before you buy your lock(s).
- Make sure that the shackle of the lock you
choose is neither too thick nor too short to be
used the way you envisage
- While the body of your lock is unlikely to be
made of steel hardened to the point where it
will be impossible to engrave, it is best to
decide whether you want to inscribe, engrave, or
paint names and/or the date on it and choose a
lock that will accommodate that method
- Buy as big a lock as you can source at an
affordable price. Very small locks are too
easily obscured by your hands during the ritual,
which makes for disappointing photographs.
As with all rituals, I purpose create both words and
actions to suit your vision. Thanks for reading!