Announcing a
complete re-think of what a wedding ceremony can
be. A wedding in tune with your 21st century
values. A wedding ceremony in which patriarchal
values are no longer embedded. The wedding
ceremony you thought you couldn't have because
that's
not the way wedding are done.
The structure and content of current non-religious
ceremonies, despite multiple changes to make them
more contemporary, continue to cling to their
roots in the religious marriage services of
mediaeval times.
Lengthy recounting of your relationship journey,
your love-story, and deep philosophical musings on
marriage (which I call
the lecture,
because they usually are peppered with totally
unsolicited advice on how to run your marriage),
are the homily or sermon delivered by the
clergyperson, reformed, but not eliminated. The
processional, where one party is led towards the
other, remains largely unchanged, despite
replacing flower girls with flower nanas, flower
dudes, or beer boys. Contemporary music replaces
religious anthems. Readings and rituals replace
extracts from the Bible. But the DNA is still
discernible.
It's time for a change, so if all or any of the
above isn't quite your style, then hold onto your
veils and bow ties because I now offer a ceremony
with a difference, one that might just be perfect
for you:
Next-Gen: The ReImagined Wedding
Ceremony.
Why did I
develop the Next-Gen ReImagined Wedding
Ceremony?
The
The
subliminal messages of current civil ceremonies
(and of the religious ceremonies they evolved
from) have always made me somewhat uneasy. An
issue I explored in detail in a article published
in June 2022 in an international journal for
celebrants in which I explored the ways in which
wedding ceremonies have continued to be shaped by
multi-layered and multifaceted cultural influences
that underpin the inherent whiteness of the
ceremony. Class Culture, Christian Culture,
Consumer Culture, and Celebrity Culture, liberally
laced with Patriarchal Values,
The Next-Gen ReImagined Wedding Ceremony is the
culmination of my 18 years of analysing these
subliminal messages by looking closely at both
words and choreography, and the history behind
both.
Progressively over the years I have emphasised to
couples that there are far fewer rules than we are
led to believe, particularly rules about the
"proper" way to marry and have shown them the
power that subtle changes to the ceremony script
has to address the gender role stereotyping taken
for granted in times past.
But that process could only go so far. A new
approach, a new vision of what a marriage
ceremony between two people, regardless of
gender, was needed.
What is a Next-Gen
ReImagined Wedding Ceremony?
A Next-Gen ReImagined Wedding Ceremony is a
complete break with the past.
Next-Gen, or Next-Generation, is a term borrowed
from the IT industry, where
it is used to describe a
product that has been developed using the
latest technology and will probably replace
an existing product.
Over the years the wedding ceremony has been
"modernised" by either taking something
away, or tweaking something, or both. Most
specifically recasting religious content as
non-religious, and/or personal. And substituting
the unexpected for the expected. It's a glass half
empty approach because it does not change the
underlying values that have remained unchanged for
1000+ years.
And it doesn't reflect the reality of the civil
wedding ceremony in Australia. Where the only
requirement is that the ceremony complies with the
Law, as set out in the Marriage Act.
Picture this: a wedding ceremony that highlights
the heart and soul of your commitment—the vows.
Unlike the usual non-religious ceremonies that
might include a detailed retelling of your
relationship or a celebrant's lecture on the
nature of matrimony, with vows kept short, a
Next-Gen ReImagined Wedding Ceremony keeps things
simple, sincere, and deeply personal. The
spotlight is on you and your partner, as you
exchange the promises that will define your
marriage.
A Next-Gen ReImagined Ceremony works by building
the ceremony from the minimal legal requirements
by enhancing what is required by the Marriage
Act, or adding to it.
This isn't to be confused with a "legals only"
ceremony either, where the legal vows mandated by
the Marriage Act are the main event and it is all
over and done with in a heartbeat. In a ReImagined
Wedding ceremony, your personal commitment takes
centre stage, but with the necessary legal vows
seamlessly woven in. It's a beautiful blend of
heartfelt emotion and legal necessity that is also
- infinitely scaleable
- inclusive of your guests
- suitable for all couples, regardless of
gender
- not in any way dependent on the personality
of your celebrant
Would a Next-Gen
ReImagined Wedding Ceremony be a good fit for
you?
Pros
- Personalisation
This ceremony is all about you and your
partner's love, without any extraneous
elements. It’s a chance to express your
deepest feelings and promises in a setting
that feels intimate and genuine, regardless of
how many guests you have
- Gender Neutral
Unlike traditional weddings, the ReImagined
Wedding Ceremony requires no adjustment to be
a comfortable fit, regardless of your gender.
It is totally gender neutral and therefore the
epitome of equality and inclusion
- Flexibility
A ReImagined Wedding Ceremony works with
any number of guests, and every style of
wedding, from the ultra casual backyard
ceremony to the grand black-tie affair in a
luxe venue. So, whether you want a grand
affair with hundreds of friends and family or
a cozy gathering with just your nearest and
dearest, or even just you and your witnesses,
this format works wonderfully. And an added
bonus is that, without extraneous competing
content in the ceremony, or a celebrant
competing for your guests' attention, there is
no pressure to keep your vows short! But
that's not to say you have to forgo personally
meaningful rituals. So if you want to include
a handfasting, ring exchange, or other ritual,
it works.
- Reduced decision-making
There are fewer things to make decisions about
- Time-Saving
Without additional rituals or lengthy
readings or monologues from the celebrant, the
ceremony is concise, leaving more time for
celebrating with your loved ones. And, with
fewer ceremony-related decisions to make,
you'll won't be juggling to find the time to
focus on writing your vows (with lots of help
from me along the way! I have written a guide
to how to write vows for a ReImagined Wedding
Ceremony. There are differences.
- Money-Saving
The pared-down format means fewer things
you need to purchase or supply.
Cons
- Less traditional
For those who love the pomp and circumstance
of a more traditional ceremony, a ReImagined
Wedding Ceremony format might feel too
minimal.
- Limited content
If you're looking to include various readings,
an assortment of rituals, or a detailed
narrative of your love story, this might not
be the right choice for you.
- Public speaking
With the focus on vows, there's an added
pressure to craft and deliver meaningful
words, which might be daunting for some.
- Need to educate other vendors (eg
photographers) and venue coordinators
It may required detailed education of
others to achieve understanding about how
different the ceremony is - from the
processional, all the way through to the
signing and beyond.
Making it legal
Nothing changes legally. That's the one thing that
is a constant. I'll make sure that all the
legal boxes required to make your marriage legal
are ticked. Which means all the pre-ceremony
paperwork, and, before your say your vows, I'll
recite the Monitum, the required statements about
my authority to solemnise your marriage together
with the definition of legal marriage as
documented in The Marriage Act.
On the day, you will have a wedding ceremony that
highlights the heart and soul of your commitment,
a ceremony that is all about the two of you and
the promises you choose to make to each other. So,
if you're ready to celebrate your love in a way
that feels genuine and true to who you are as a
couple, this might just be the perfect fit, and I
will very definitely be playing an unobtrusive
supporting role!
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