The Kilt Dilemma: To Underwear or Not to Underwear?

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There are few guarantees about weddings, but one thing I can absolutely guarantee as a celebrant who regularly officiates weddings in the Scottish tradition, is that, if you're wearing a kilt, you'll not only look fabulous, you'll also be wearing a sure-fire conversation starter. So you should be prepared with a witty comeback ready to stop anyone who asks what's under your kilt in their tracks.

As the saying goes "A true Scotsman doesn't wear underwear".  But like all sayings, that one needs clarification. which means delving into history. but first, should you or shouldn't you "go regimental"?

Knickers or Knackers? Undies or Regimental?

It might be regarded to be traditional to go naked under your kilt, but is that a good idea at a wedding? Or for that matter, at any formal event at which there is dancing? A higher level of decorum is surely expected.

The Scottish Official Board of Highland Dancing clearly thinks it is. It requires dancers to cover up  for their events and regulations.  Competitors at Highland Games are also required to wear underwear, specifically dark-coloured underwear.

However, there is always the brave, or foolhardy, soul who goes knickerless at a wedding. I know that from personal experience from one where a groom went regimental under his kilt, and without going into detail I can assure you that synchronised embarrassment reached dizzy heights that day.

Where it all started

The popular belief (and origin of the term "going regimental") as a hard and fast rule, comes from the military. And it is much more recent that most would imagine -  around the time of the Boer War and World War I.

As a practice, however, it goes way back, long before the invention of the modern kilt in the 18th century. To a time when neither men nor women wore the knicker type undies we take for granted. And Scottish warriors, known for their fierceness, struck terror into the heart of Roman legionaries.

Is it even true?

Absolutely! A proportion of Scots go regimental under their kilt. But by no means all of them.

A survey done nearly a decade ago, revealed that only 38% of kilt wearing Scots wore nothing under their kilt. Of the remainder, 7% wore shorts of some sort, and 55% wore underwear. Which explains both the availability and popularity of blue undies with the Saltire across the behind!

What were the benefits of wearing nothing under the kilt?

On the battlefield, wearing nothing (Celtic warriors were known for going naked into battle), or at least nothing under your kilt - which at that time was the Great Kilt, not the neat, modern, garment Queen Victoria and Prince Albert loved and made popular - allowed men to relieve themselves without risking being surprised by the enemy.  If they were were wounded, the wound was less likely to be contaminated by fabric getting into it, there was nothing restricting their movement, so you were more agile, and it was a powerful psychological weapon.

None of the above precautions apply at a wedding!

Granted, in warmer climates like Queensland, you might be cooler without undies on hot days, but you will be providing easy access to midges and mozzies.

Good reasons to wear underwear

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The common reason for not wearing underwear with fashion garments is to avoid visible panty lines. Not a problem with the kilt due to both the design of the kilt and the weight of the material used.

Whether you own your own kilt, or hire one for the occasion, hygiene requires underwear. When hiring, that is a common condition. Nonetheless, most kilt hire firms have numerous hygiene horror stories to tell. And if a hire firm can't let their staff handle an unhygienic kilt without breaching health and safety rules, neither can a dry cleaner. Meaning there is only one thing to do. Dispose of it. So it is in everyone's financial interest to avoid contaminating the inside of your kilt.

An emerging reason to do everything to keep existing kilts in the supply chain, or to preserve your own is simple availability. Demand for kilts has never been higher, which has created a shortage. Both to buy and to hire. Kiltmaking is labour-intensive and it takes an experienced kiltmaker at least 20 hours to make a kilt. Beautifully handsewn kilts are garments that last a lifetime and can be passed down the generations if well cared for. Every kilt that gets taken out of the supply chain has a negative impact on availability.

And if someone should ask ...

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You'll need to have a quick come-back at the ready. The most common (and most acceptable) answer is My shoes or a variation thereof. But if you want to answer a naughty question with a naughty answer Nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order  works well, as does A fine set of accessories!

Thanks for reading!