Your legal witness

To marry legally in Australia you must have two adults to act as the legal witnesses to the marriage. They aren't there just to sign the certificates. They don't actually witness your signature. When they sign the certificate what they are doing is confirming that they witnessed your marriage taking place. This is a role of the utmost importance because without their presence, there would be no marriage.  And it is a role that carries with it the responsibility of testifying in court as to what they saw and heard happen during the ceremony, should there ever been any question about the validity of your marriage.

Flower Ladies(s)

Traditionally, the bride has been preceded by one or two small girls who scatter rose petals in her path. Recently, couples have been thinking very much outside the box, including substituting Flower Dudes, adult males who ham up the whole thing, or Flower Nanas. It's not a legal requirement, so you are free to have whoever you like involved, however many people you like, and whoever you like. And you can step away from scattering petals if your venue doesn't like that. They can blow bubbles, hand out wands, flags, petal bags so the guests can shower you when you walk down the aisle, or the both of you walk back up the aisle. A Flower Lady or two or five can not only start your wedding on a fun note, it gives your special female person(s) a starring role, and an opportunity to be as out there as only they can be.

Part of the Processional

The "usual" processional consists of the bride making a formal entry, escorted by her father and preceded (or followed) by females formally designated at bridesmaids who will stand up with her throughout the ceremony. A small boy may be included to carry the rings. Older members of the family (grandmothers) are gaining popularity as flower nanas.

You could expand your processional to include the whole group of your sisters and besties. They don't have to dress alike. They don't have to stand up with your. They can all throw petals and get up to hi-jinks in the manner of flower-dudes. Reserve seats near the front so they can sit down. But after they have greeted the person waiting to marry you! Makes great photos and starts the ceremony on a real high.

Hand over your bouquet

Traditionally the bride hands her bouquet to her MOH. But that leaves the MOH holding two bouquets with no free hands, so you sometimes see a somewhat awkward passing of the MOH's bouquet to the next bridesmaid. Instead, when it comes time to free up your hands, ask your celebrant to ask your chosen bestie to come forward to take your bouquet. Give her a hug as you hand it over. Makes a great photo op.

Ceremony reader

You can trust your sister or BFF to choose an appropriate reading (with a little help from my huge collection of books of poems and poetic prose passages, if necessary), or even to write one herself, adding a personal touch.

Ring Bearer / Presenter of the Rings

I've always preferred to have the rings presented to the couple by an adult. It works so much better, and it so much less risky. I've never had an adult swallow the rings or lob the ring cushion into the shrubbery. So, even if you do have a child ring bearer carry the rings down the aisle, your sister or bestie can formally take the rings from the child and formally present the rings to you. Makes great photos!

Participant in a ritual

There are many unity rituals that require someone to help by presenting or preparing the items used. Many can also be expanded to include others.

Some examples:

• Wine blending ceremony, in which wine is shared by the marrying couple
  
• Handfasting
• Sandceremony - as an invented tradition it can be adapted to include anyone you want to include and mean anything you want it to mean. Use something other than coloured sand. Anything that mixes. I've had petals,  gravel, M & M's, etc. Involve all of your besties, give each a different colour, decide what these colours will represent (what they bring to your friendship, is one possibility, another is the qualities they have that will support your marriage), and at the appropriate time, have them come forward to pour their sand.
  
• Unity Candle - for example, turn this ritual on its head to make a visual statement about supporting your marriage by choosing selected people to light the individual candles and then, together, light the central candle.
  
• Warming of the rings
  

The person who asks the Affirmation of Intention question

In Australia, the "I will" or "I do" questions are not a legal requirements. Having your sister or BFF ask the person you are marrying that question is incredibly special. Especially if the question is framed in a way that only a sibling can.

Musician or Singer

If your sister has musical talents, consider involving her as a musician or singer to play you down the aisle or during the ceremony. Whether she plays an instrument or sings a favourite song, her performance can add a personal and emotional touch to the proceedings. On the occasions where a sister or BFF has sung the bride down the aisle there usually isn't a dry eye in the house.

The officiant

While, to be legally married, you need an authorised celebrant, there is no legal reason why someone else can't play a major role in leading the ceremony!

Allocating roles without causing friction

There is only one way to completely avoid hurt feelings when allocating roles - step completely aside and let luck do it.

Pulling names out of the hat is something everyone in Australia understands. And it works brilliantly when you have to choose one or two people from a larger group.

When you need to allocate differing roles among a defined number of people, a slightly different take is required. Put the roles in the hat and let your people each pick one. Simple! You are hands-off, and no-one can manipulate it, or imagine that the process has been manipulated.
 
Fun variations on the roles in the hat method are some that work really well

• Choccie or cupcakes lottery
  
• Bubbles or Shots lottery
• Doctored pack of cards
  

Get all of your BFFs and siblings together and set out the exact number of wraped choccies/cupcakes/glasses as there are people vying for a role in your wedding.

For the cupcakes, carefully insert a tightly rolled piece of paper, on which you have written a specific role, into the cupcake. You can roll the slip of paper round a toothpick. insert, and then remove the toothpick leaving the paper behind - just make sure there is a little sticking out at the top so it doesn't get swallowed by mistake!

Under the choccies or glasses, stick a label on which you have written a role. Let everyone choose their own choccie or glass, and that's their role. If there is any possibility that anyone will take a sneak peak, just put a letter of the alphabet or a number on the label, and have a prepared list of what role each letter/number represents. To further make sure that, even if someone has a sneaky peak, nobody can use that knowledge to their advantage, don't pick the obvious consecutive numbers/letters starting at 1 or A, pick random ones.

For the doctored pack of cards, write the relevant number on the face of the pack of cards. Shuffle them and get someone who isn't a candidate (great role for a grandma who still plays cards with physical cards) to shuffle the pack, get each person to cut it, and shuffle again, and then deal each person a card face down. The big reveal makes for great photos as each is told what the role is.

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