Ever-changing
COVID-19 rules and guidelines around weddings
have made it clear that weddings are considered a
high risk for transmission. As the celebrant, I have
responsibility for what happens during the ceremony,
and that includes the safety of the couple and their
guests.
While developing my own COVIDSafe plan for the
ceremonies I officiate it became very clear just how
many parts of the ceremony now need a different
approach in order to keep everyone safe. So I've
been working on developing new safer adaptations
that don't compromise the emotion of the occasion.
I've also taken into account the government rules,
regulations, and guidelines, together with advice
that social (physical) distancing is not expected
between people who live in the same household.
Important: If no-one attending your wedding
has COVID-19, then there is no risk of transmission.
The problem is that a person can be pre-symptomatic
but infectious, or asymptomatic and infectious, so
the wise course of action is to ask your guests not
to attend if they are unwell or have any respiratory
or COVID-19 symptoms and to:
- alert your guests ahead of time that all
social distancing guidelines will be adhered to
at your wedding and that you will also have
infection control protocols in place, eg
provision of hand sanitising stations plus small
bottles of hand sanitiser on each seat
- alert guests that their contact details will
be collated and kept for the required period of
time
- ask guests to bring their own pen to sign your
guest book, or better still, ask them to send
you virtual messages of love to print out to
create your own guestbook
- ensure all surfaces that you and anything
required in the ceremony may come into contact
with are thoroughly cleaned before the ceremony
- avoid the throwing of petals, confetti, etc or
the blowing of bubbles.
- live-stream your ceremony for your guests who
are unwell or feel uncomfortable attending
Seating
Traditionally, where seating is provided, it is
generally theatre-style in rows with a middle aisle.
The safer option is arranging the seating in bubble
groups where each group of chairs is separated from
other bubble groups. Each bubble group should be
clearly labelled (something hanging off the back of
one of the chairs so that guests can easily identify
where they should sit is recommended), and, where
you have a number of bubble groups, a seating plan
for the ceremony is a good idea. As is adopting an
airline boarding practice of inviting groups to take
their seats in turn to prevent congregating at the
entrance, particularly important for an indoor
ceremony.
Where you have decided to provide limited seating
for selected guests or have all guests standing
consider applying the family bubble grouping to
where people are standing. If in your own backyard
the spray that landscapers use to mark out the
ground works well - and comes in blue, so could be
your something blue!
Positioning
I have always encouraged couples to stand together,
facing their guests while I stand to one side. Not
only is this better for the photographs, it turns
out it is good social distancing practice as well.
But I also would move in behind the couple to hold
the microphone, when one was needed, for the saying
of their vows. I am no longer doing that.
Traditionally, the wedding party (bridesmaids,
groomsmen, etc) is deployed, standing quite close to
one another, on either side of the couple. Bigger
bridal parties will need to be assessed and
positioning adjusted, taking into account whether or
not the individuals are part of a bubble or not.
The walk down the aisle
I dealt with the aisle itself in detail in an
earlier blog post
Down the
Aisle, Social Distancing Style, the main
message of which is the need to widen the aisle and
put measures in place to keep guests from stepping
into the aisle.
Best practice to ensure great photos of the bridal
party entrance is to ensure 3 to 6 metres between
each person in the processional. That more than
meets social distancing guidelines. Where care needs
to be taken is when they line up ready to make their
entrance and what happens at the end of the aisle
when they move to take their places for the
ceremony.
Music and singing
Expert advice is that activities that may propel
more droplets into the air should be avoided. These
include the playing of any mouth blown (wind)
musical instruments due to both deep breathing and
emissions from the instruments, and group singing,
shouting, and cheering, all of which involved
projected expulsion of air from the lungs.
Furthermore, it is strongly suggested that if you
have a soloist singer, that person should be at
least three metres away from any other person.
String instruments are safe, but social distancing
of the musicians may require a rethink of where they
should be positioned. If using recorded music,
delegate one person (only) to manage it to avoid the
risk of contamination.
While transmission of COVID-19 has been recorded
within choirs and other group singing events, so far
none has been recorded where the vector of
transmission as been the Great Highland Bagpipe. Dr
Robert Gray, Senior Fellow and Consultant
Respiratory Physician at the University of
Edinburgh, a piper himself, only 2 weeks ago
expressed the view that the bagpipe is a reservoir
for viruses from respiratory secretions and are
therefore mouth-blown bagpipes are more risky than
other musical instruments. Because, however, the
sound of the bagpipe can be heard from some distance
away, judicious positioning of a piper at an outdoor
ceremony should pose little risk to others.
Participation in the
ceremony
Traditional ceremonies include readings, where
individuals who otherwise have no role in the
ceremony, make their way forward in order to read.
In the interest of minimising movement, where
possible, have the person read from their seat.
Otherwise, ensure they are seated where it is easy
for them to keep the required distance from everyone
else as they make their way forward to a socially
distanced position. Either on the aisle or on the
outer edge of the seating would work.
The ring exchange
While I generally avoid touching the rings myself,
the various ways in which the rings can be presented
can involve several people touching them, or them
being placed on surfaces that could be a source of
contamination. Once your photographer has taken
pre-wedding details photographs of the rings they
should be cleaned and kept in a secure receptacle,
such as a box, until they are formally presented to
you for the exchange of rings. The person presenting
the rings should do so efficiently (to both of you
at the same time), while maintaining as much
distancing as possible for that moment.
Rituals (mini or
sub-ceremonies)
A feature of modern civil marriage ceremonies is the
wide variety of rituals (sometimes called
mini-ceremonies or sub-ceremonies). The level of
transmission risk varies from low to high as many
rituals involve multiple people touching items used
in the ritual. I have looked at each of the more
popular rituals in detail, particularly those that
pose a medium to high risk, and am proposing
alternative methods of carrying out the ritual that
maintain the original intent, retain the original
symbolism, but decrease the risk of transmission
that might result from contamination from surfaces
that the items used come into contact with, or
people who might touch them. That said, if you
restrict participation to people who are in your
bubble (in other words, those who live in the same
house with you) you could be a bit more relaxed
about who is involved in the ritual. However, any
surfaces that the ritual items will come into
contact with should be thoroughly cleaned before the
ceremony.
- Handfasting
Handfasting usually involves people handling the
cord(s) or ribbon(s) and standing close to the
couple while tying their hands together. To
minimise the risk
- Have the tying done by a member of your
household
- Do the tying yourselves. While this will
require a complete change in mindset and some
nifty choreography, it is not only doable but
can add much to the symbolism and meaning of
this ritual.
- Honey Ceremony
While honey is sterile and anti-bacterial,
fingers are not. So the cultural custom of the
couple dipping their little finger (pinky) into
honey and touching it to one another's lips, is
risky as there is always a risk that they may
have inadvertently touched a contaminated
surface between washing their hands and
participating in the ritual.
- If you wish to stick with tradition and use
your fingers, thoroughly sanitise your hands
immediately before carrying out the ritual
- Use separate spoons - small demitasse spoons
are ideal, but teaspoons would do
- Loving Cup/Wine Ceremony
Sharing of food and drink is actively
discouraged, for example, the cake you
ceremonially cut cannot be shared with the
guests, and buffets and grazing tables where
food and serving utensils can be contaminated
are banned. As normally carried out, a Loving
Cup or Wine Ceremony involves the couple
drinking from the same vessel. As you
will most probably already be living together,
sharing a drink would appear to pose no added
risk as long as other people don't handle it.
However, if your wedding is being held in a
venue or restaurant, I strongly advise that you
adhere to the rules, avoid the shared Loving Cup
ritual and adapt the Wine Ceremony
- Blend the wine, pouring the white and red
wine into a jug which you the use to pour into
two glasses so you each drink from your own
glass. A slight tweak to the narrative is all
that is needed.
- Ring warming
Because a ring warming maximises contact between
the guests and of the guests with the rings
and/or the container in which they are passed
around, is a high-risk ritual as it is usually
carried out. However, it can be adapted to
minimise the risk
- Restyle it as a ring blessing where, just
before you exchange your rings you holds them
up for the guests to see and while I ask
everyone to focus on the rings as they make a
silent wish or say a silent prayer for the
marriage
- Have one person, preferably a member of your
bubble, warm and bless the rings on behalf of
everyone having immediately prior sanitised
their hands
- Rose ceremony
There are two broad versions of the Rose
Ceremony - either the couple exchanges roses or
they present them to others, usually their
mothers, as an expression of gratitude.
Generally speaking the roses are laid on the
signing table until it is time to give hand them
to you to either exchange or hand to your
mothers.
- Place the roses in a long florist box or in
a narrow vase to minimise the risk of a third
party contaminating the roses
- Allow your mothers to take a rose out of the
box rather than handing them to them.
- Sand ceremony
A Sand Ceremony
requires very little adaptation to
make it COVID-19 safe.
- Sanitise all the containers before placing
them on the table
- If involving additional people, have them
come forward one at a time
- Provide a box to place the containers in
after the ceremony plus hand sanitiser for the
person who packs them up.
- Unity Candle
The Unity Candle
ritual traditionally involves a member of each
family (usually the mothers) lighting a taper
candle on either side of the Unity Candle which
is then lit by the marrying couple, each using
the taper candle lit by their mother. Minor
adaptation would be all that is necessary.
- Provide two lighters or boxes of matches so
your mothers do not have to share
- Have your mothers come forward to stand on
either side of the table, at a distance, and
step forward to light a taper one at a time
rather than together
- As your mothers do not have to touch the
tapers, there is no need to sanitise them
after your mothers have lit them, however care
needs to be taken not to contaminate the
candles when placing them in the candle
holder.
The Kiss, and kissing and
hugging in general
Australia has not yet prohibited marrying couples
from kissing, but all the guidelines, both Federal
and State, are clear about no hugging or kissing or
mingling with guests. Using hand signals, including
sign language, can somewhat fill that empty space.
Witnesses and the signing
of the register and certificates
"Normal" practice includes everyone using the same
ceremonial pen, usually provided by m, and the
witnesses and the celebrant being in close proximity
to the couple during the signing. This is where the
legal reality of the signing is hugely beneficial.
Contrary to common belief, no-one is witnessing
anyone's signature. What we are all doing is
documenting that we have witnessed the marriage.
Therefore there is no legal requirement for everyone
to be up close and personal during the signing. I
strongly advise, however, that each person uses a
separate pen
(black ink) and that
all hands are sanitised immediately before the
signing to ensure that the certificates and register
are not contaminated. To the best of our knowledge,
COVID-19 lives on paper for at least 24 hours.
Microphones
Multiple people using the same microphone
constitutes a risk. While a PA system isn't required
for a small ceremony, where there is a larger number
of guests you will need amplification. Sanitising
the microphone between users really isn't a
practical option during a ceremony, however ensuring
that there are enough microphones available so that
you don't have to share is doable, within limits.
Masks
Masks are not mandatory in Australia, yet. However,
wearing of masks is advised for certain individuals.
One of the kindest things a marrying couple can do
is to normalise the wearing of masks. Where you have
frail or very elderly guests I don't think it is
over the top to request everyone wears a mask both
to protect them and to normalise the fact that they
may be wearing a mask.
Social distancing badges
A fun way of reminding guests to social distance is
to give everyone a button-type social distancing
badge. There is quite a wide range available from
promotional product companies and they are not
expensive. Google is your friend here. Or if you
know someone who owns a badge making machine, you
can buy the blank buttons and let your creativity
run wild.
Contact Tracing Record
It is a requirement that a list of everyone present
is kept. If you are having your wedding at a venue,
it is the venue's responsibility to collect and keep
these details. If you are having a backyard wedding,
it is your responsibility. I will provide a template
and assistance.
Thanks for reading!