![Bride and Groom
during ring exchange with the words Vow without
using this pronoun!](picts_blog/VowWithoutMine.jpg)
To
say I'm pro-pronouns would be putting it mildly.
So it may come as a surprise that there is one
pronoun that I firmly believe should be banished
from vows! The personal pronoun
Mine.
And here's why.
While choosing the right words for your vows is
super personal, thinking about how those words
come together to paint a picture of love,
partnership, and mutual respect can really level
up your vow game. They're not just words; they're
promises, feelings, and dreams all wrapped up in
one. They impact both the message and the tone you
wish to convey to your partner, to your friends
and loved ones. Now, you might think slipping in a
"mine" here and there is no biggie—it's
just a way to show how much your partner means to
you, right? But hear me out, there are some pretty
compelling reasons to think outside the box on
this one.
1. It has negative
implications
Your choice of the words you use in your
wedding vows is deeply personal, but no-one wants
to unintentionally send an unfortunate message. A
simple word swap can avoid the possibility of your
guests picking up on the negatives hidden in
particular words and make all the difference to
enhancing the love, partnership, and mutual
respect you wish to convey,
2. It is
possessive
As one would expect, a possessive pronoun
implies possession! The days where one partner in
a marriage was owned by the other - both legally
and in the view of society - are long gone.
Avoiding First up, "mine" and focusing on words
like "ours" or "we" can take your vows from meh to
wow. Why? By highlighting the whole "together"
vibe, you're shouting out that this is a
partnership of equals, all about supporting and
lifting each other up. And let's be real, that's
the kind of energy we're all here for.
Because
marriage is all about the team effort. It's you
and your partner against the world, sharing
everything from pizza to dreams. Using
mine
(even if expressing disbelief, such as in
I
can't believe that you are mine), can
unintentionally convey a sense of possession
rather than partnership. Easy suggestion: say
something like
I will never stop feeling lucky
to be sharing my life with you.
3. It gets in the way
of expressing genuine commitment
Then, there's the whole commitment angle.
Steering clear of the "mine" mindset puts the
spotlight on what really matters: the promise to
stick by each other, through thick and thin,
Netflix binges and family dinners. It's about
choosing each other, every day, in every way. By
framing your vows around the commitments you are
making to support, respect, and cherish each
other, rather than what you consider to be yours,
you emphasise the actions and choices that build a
strong, healthy relationship.This shift in focus
from possessing to committing makes your vows a
powerhouse of love and dedication.
4. It's limiting
And here's the kicker:
ditching "mine" opens up a whole new world of
expressing your love in more creative and
heartfelt ways, to diving deep into what makes
your relationship special. From the inside jokes
that have you both cracking up to the dreams
you're hustling for together, it's a chance to
show off the unique blend of love, laughter, and
loyalty that's all your own. Plus, it'll hit right
in the feels for everyone lucky enough to hear
your vows.