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Being stuck at home, with no power, rain beating down and wind roaring, and advised by authorities not to venture outdoors, concentrates the mind wonderfully! Particularly as it was all happening on popular weekend for weddings.

Naturally, my mind turned to musing over the large number of couples whose carefully planned weddings were being thrown into disarray.

Planning a wedding, any wedding, is thrilling, but also daunting. And when a cyclone (aka hurricane or typhoon in other parts of the world) decides to crash the party, it can seem like your entire dream day is washed away.

I've made no bones about the fact that I'm firmly on Team Plan B. I'm definitely a "Just in Case" rather than a "Just in Time" person when it comes to weddings. Having a solid Plan B (or several, each tailored for a different possible scenario) is an asset should you need one.

But until Tropical Cyclone (now ex-Tropical Cyclone) Alfred hit Brisbane I hadn't thought in any depth about how important it is to check in on one's mindset before you dive into crafting alternative plans.

So this blog post is about why it is crucial to do so, and how to approach this oh-so-necessary shift in perspective.

Plan B is settling for something less than Plan A

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Let's not mince matters. Plan B is settling for something less than Plan A. It is not the same as letting Plan A go and going for a next/different plan A. Plan B, or even C or Do (yes, wedding disaster planning means different contingency plans for the different circumstances that might arise) are in some way lesser alternatives to your original plan.

First check your mindset

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Why you may feel resistant to the whole idea of developing a Plan B, or how short-changed you'd feel if, on the day, you have to go to Plan B, can depend on what your subconscious mindset is.

So step one is to take a moment to pause and reflect. Have a heart-to-heart with your future spouse and, together, decide what truly matters. Is it replicating your Plan A as closely as possible? Or is it simply having a wedding surrounded by family and friends, even if it lacks the planned bells and whistles, or is it just being married in whatever way is possible given the circumstances.

This conversation is vital because understanding each others priorities sets the foundation for how you'll approach your Plan B by helping you make decisions that align with what you both value most.

Mindset 1: The Wedding Industry Vision of the Perfect Day

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Let's make no bones about the fact that the 2025 normalised vision of weddings is the Wedding Industry Vision of your wedding day, the one day where everything has to be not only perfect but unique, both on trend and novel at the same time, and very definitely Instagrammable! This is the notion that if your wedding isn't exceptionally fun, or elegant, or clever, or at the very least, very expensive, you will have somehow failed. 

If the perfect wedding, as an event, is what is most important to you, then the work you put into researching and developing a Plan B that delivers the closest possible turnkey alternative to your Plan B, is not only crucial, it will remove a lot of stress and be the most efficient way to deliver the day of your dreams regardless.

Mindset 2: The Family and Friends Vision of "A Proper Wedding"

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From the moment you announced your engagement, family and friends will be telling you what your wedding "should be" in order to be a "proper wedding". This vision of weddings is one which has been inculcated via stories, movies, and personal experience for your whole life. It can, and does, differ significantly from the Wedding Industry Vision of weddings for the simple reason that the Industry Vision is a relatively new phenomenon. While the Industry Vision focuses on the optics, what looks good and photographs well, the Proper Wedding focuses on traditions (and superstitions) many of which are transactional - do this and marital bliss is guaranteed, or fail to do this and bad things will result.

Mindset 3: Being Married is the most important thing

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The third mindset is that getting married, being married, is more important than the wedding.

Crafting Plan B

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Here's the thing. Whatever your mindset you will still need a detailed Plan B, but, with your priorities clear, crafting it becomes a creative exercise rather than a compromise. Consider the core elements of your wedding that are most important to you and your partner, and find ways to incorporate them into your alternate plan.

Moving forward

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With any luck, your Plan B will be an insurance policy, a must have that you are happy about not needing to use!  Regardless, the effort you put into it is never wasted if developing a Plan B achieves 3 things

• helps you focus on what really matters
• gives you confidence that, whatever happens, you will have a memorable day that is perfect in its own unique way
• reinforces that a successful wedding, like a successful marriage depends on resilience, adaptability, and love.

Words Survive Intact

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Remember, that while the external details of your wedding might change, the love and commitment that you share remain constant and the words that express that love and commitment, survive anything and everything and, regardless of cyclones, floods, bushfires, venue closure, and anything else that might require activating your Plan B, the heart and soul of your wedding remains. The words of the ceremony. The words of your vows. The words that express your love and commitment. The words that, legally, create the contract of marriage between you.

Related Information

• More than one Plan B for your wedding is a must!
• Let's hear it for Negatives First Wedding Planning
  
• When Disaster Strikes - Plan D - How to Get Married Legally When your Venue and your Celebrant are Unreachable 
• Quick-fix hacks for unexpected wedding problems
  

Thanks for reading!