How to minimise the stress and maximise the fun - for introverted you

• Dispense with the wedding party. Bridesmaids and Groomsmen are not a legal requirement and more and more couples are choosing not to have any, or to have only one each. It's so common that no-one will think it's odd. If you decide to have someone stand up with you, choose someone you trust and are comfortable with. Ignore gender and age. Grandma as best woman? Favourite uncle as chief bridesguy? Go for it. Everyone will love you for it.
• Choose a venue that offers a variety of quiet spaces where you can get away for a breather. One of the benefits of a larger wedding is that you need a larger venue which is more likely to have those sort of spaces. Smaller weddings are usually held in smaller venues where the only place to disappear for a while might be the bathroom.
  
• Make sure that what you wear
• Makes you feel good
• Fits well, so you never have to fiddle with it
• Is comfortable
• Allows you to go to the bathroom without help
  
• Choose your guests wisely.
  
• Schedule your wedding for earlier in the day. Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, and Afternoon Tea Weddings never get as rowdy as Evening ones, largely because they don't last as long and there's less booze.
  
• Choose a celebrant who is calm and not likely to be OTT on the day and work with them to create a ceremony that feels comfortable for you.
• Ditto for a DJ, if you choose to have one
  
• Skip the hen's night or stage night. Either skip it altogether - easy to do if you have no wedding party, or choose a sit-down dinner at a quiet restaurant. Other ideas that work are to book for a class or workshop or find a opportunity to volunteer for a good cause for a few hours.
• Start the day out by yourself to give yourself some time to bank some energy
  
• Schedule a first look before the ceremony. Having some time to spend together, alone, before it all kicks off, is a great stress-reliever. As a bonus you get terrific photos
• Plan to have an unplugged ceremony, and ask your guests not to share photos on social media
  
• Walk down the aisle together, or follow the example of Jewish weddings and have each of you walk in with both your parents.
• Bring your dog!
  
• There are no rules about positioning for the ceremony. So you could
• Ask your celebrant to stand off to one side instead of in the centre, between you. That way, when the celebrant is speaking all eyes won't be on you.
• Decide to sit for the ceremony
• Stand with your backs to the guests. This is still the way it happens in church (where everyone faces the altar), and in most movies, so, while it may be unusual in a civil ceremony in Australia, it won't be unfamiliar to guests.
  
• Read your vows rather than repeating them after your celebrant. It lessens the stress
  
• If the thought of speaking or reading your personal vows terrifies you, write them and exchange them to be read in private later, or ask you celebrant to frame them as questions to which you only need answer "I do". You will still have to say the legal vows, but those are only a few words, and you can read them.
  
• Immediately after the ceremony, schedule some alone time for the two of you. Ten to fifteen moments will do it. It's also a great time to have a snack if your tummy hasn't been able to cope with much beforehand.
• Be careful in your choice of MC. Your wedding isn't a team-building exercise so you want to skip feeling that you're being dragooned into those "ice-breaking" type activities that make work-related workshops and strategic planning days such an ordeal for introverts.
  
• Skip the choreographed grand entrance to your reception
  
• Skip the "sweetheart" table for two or the long top table where you are on show and opt for sitting at a round table with family members
• Skip the solo, choreographed, Hollywood/Bollywood, first dance. There are alternatives!
• Schedule time during the reception to sneak away for some sunset or nighttime photos - just the two of your and your photographer
  
• If you aren't comfortable with making a speech, don't. You can skip the speeches completely, or only have one or two made by people you task with thanking everyone and proposing a toast or two if you'd like that done
• If you are going to make a speech, you don't have to stand. You'll need a wireless microphone to be able to do that. Make sure that's on the list of what's needed. The venue should be able to accommodate that.
• Schedule formal reception activities early - cutting the cake, speeches etc - so that you have all the flexibility you need to either take time out, or leave altogether!
• Skip the recovery party. The day after is your time to chill and recharge.
  

How to minimise the stress and maximise the fun - for introverted guests

• Be considerate when deciding on the dress code. Build in some flexibility so your guests can comply without feeling uncomfortable
• Consider providing information with your invitations about the activities planned for your wedding, together with an assurance that there will be quiet spaces or alternative activities if they choose not to participate. Having that information may be the deciding factor about whether to accept or refuse your invite.
  
• Set the spaces up so there are quiet corners and intimate spaces where introverted guests can withdraw to find their people (they won't be the only introverts present), together with spaces where they can slip away from everyone to recharge
  
• Dial back on the directed activities
• Keep the noise level, flashing lights, and general disco feel level down
• Schedule formal reception activities early - cutting the cake, speeches etc - so that guests who can only handle large social gatherings for a limited time don't feel obligated to stay til the bitter end
• Don't fill up every minute with planned and directed activities that everyone is expected to participate in
• Never put an introverted guest on the spot about why they aren't participating.