Categories: | Vows | Wedding Ceremony |
If
you are struggling to write your personal wedding vows
there is a solution. And it is a simple one. It is
easier to write three different vows than to write
one.OK so that sounds crazy. But it is true.
The hardest thing to get your head around when you are writing your vows is that you are going to be both the writer (who wants to put things in) and the editor (who knows the value of taking things out). Great vows are distilled down to the essence of your commitment.
To explain that, let's look at the traditional vows
to have and to holdIt not only covers every circumstance of life, but remove even one word and it is diminished.
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part
Of course, it is not personal. Which is why the majority of couples marrying in a civil ceremony decide to write their own personal vows, or at least have input into them with celebrant help to achieve the final product.
So why would I suggest that you write three different vows? For the simple reason, as we know from everyday life, it is easier to put something somewhere else than to throw it away completely. So let's look at decluttering your wedding day vows.
Why Three Vows?
One for the wedding, one for the rehearsal and one for the honeymoon!
I'm hearing pennies drop.
Your wedding day vows
So what do you do with all of those great phrases that have flowed so easily onto the paper? You relocate them. At which point you will see that removing them hasn't diminished what you are promising. In fact it has more than likely made those promises more powerful. Distillation increases impact.
Your rehearsal vows
- How people enter, leave, and move about the ceremony space during the ceremony
- How and when anyone hands something to someone else
- Who presents your rings
- When you hand over your bouquet, and who to
- How a ritual unfolds
- When you turn to face one another and join hands
The choreography of your exchange of vows and
rings is practiced. But for both legal reasons and
in the interest of keeping your vows a surprise to
your wedding party and the guests, you won't be
saying your wedding day vows at your wedding
rehearsal. When my couple is going to be saying
their vows by repeating after me, I get them to
practice that at the rehearsal, and I change up
the words for light relief. There is no reason why
you can't create and use your own wedding
rehearsal vows - especially if you are going to be
reading your vows. Silliness is perfect. It
lightens the mood at your rehearsal, and helps
people relax and laugh. All of which makes the
coming wedding day feel less daunting.
Your honeymoon vows
More information about
writing vows
Help is at hand
- Vow
Writing Service (I do all the hard
work, you get all the credit)
