If you're considering the
various ways to express your love on your big day, you
may be curious about the difference between vows, love
letters, and speeches and what role each could
play on your wedding day.
Each has a place, a role, and a distinct function.
They don't overlap, so it can be useful to work on
them at the same time, because that makes it easy to
ensure that there is no confusion!
The primary characteristic that distinguishes each
from the others is intended audience and expectations
around privacy.
- Love letters are private communications with an
intended audience of one, the person to whom they
are written.
- Vows are also private expressions of
commitment, made with the understanding that they
will be witnessed by others.
- Wedding reception speeches, on the other hand,
are personal tributes to one or more people not
only made in front of everyone present, but they
are addressed to everyone present, because they
always conclude with asking everyone to raise a
glass in a toast.
Vows
out
Firstly, your vows do two things
- The legal part of your vows creates your
marriage. In Australia the words you say are
mandated by the Marriage Act, and include both you
names, so there no doubt about who is
marrying who! In other legal jurisdictions all
that may be required is a simple I Do in
answer to a question posed by the officiant
(celebrant).
- The personal part of your vows are the promises
you make. These words carry immense emotional
weight but no legal weight.
Secondly, your personal vows can be the tried and
true for better, for worse promises, or you
can write your own. Either way, if you choose to
incorporate personal vows, their power lies in their
focus on the behaviours you commit to. Vow writing
advice routinely suggests that you compliment your
partner and share some anecdotes in addition to
making promises.
But that advice assumes that your marriage ceremony
will be a standard ceremony or a ceremony that has
restrictions as to the choices you can make and the
input you will have. Both of which are what you can
expect if marrying in a religious ceremony or at the
Registry Office or in a Courthouse.
When you marry in a celebrant-led ceremony, no
restrictions on content or input apply. So your
first task is to decide which type of ceremony you
will be having before you start crafting your vows.
Love Letters
Love letters can be written on paper, or sent as an
email or text. Many couples choose to exchange love
letters on their wedding day, either to be read in
private before the ceremony, or occasionally to be
read aloud during the ceremony.
A love letter is a beautiful way to express
appreciation of everything your partner brings to your
life and to express your love and gratitude In
many ways they focus as much on you, how you feel, how
your partner makes you feel, as on your partner.They
can be as brief or as lengthy as you wish, though if
you plan to read them aloud they should be kept brief.
The most important aspect is that what you write comes
from the heart.
Wedding Reception Speeches
While speeches include words of wisdom and
congratulations, their main purpose is to entertain
the guests while expressing appreciation of the person
or people the toast at the end will be addressed to.
Humour is expected. Emotion is also expected. Striking
the right balance between the two is key.
Related information
Thanks for reading!